If you are a Western man and want to marry a Chinese girl, you should be ready for severe challenges, concerning international marriages and culture differences. The first thing you should know is how to date a Chinese woman. We’ve prepared some tips for you and they’ll help you impress her and make her like you. So, let’s start!
Do your homework
That’s what you have to do before asking her out on the first date in real life. China is a unique country that differs from the USA and Europe so much. What’s OK for Western people, is inadmissible in Asia. It’s necessary to learn the most important features of Chinese society and culture. Your Chinese girlfriend won’t be happy to hear your questions, they may seem stupid to her. So, read much information, watch YouTube videos about true life in China. When you show her your great knowledge about her country and traditions, she’ll be greatly impressed!
Be prepared that differences between your cultures can be really dramatic and unexpected. If your Chinese mail order girlfriend comes from a rural area, she may stick to traditional medicine, including acupuncture, Tai Chi, local herbal products… It all might seem shocking to you, but a normal life to her. If you express too much curiosity and disapproval about it, she might get offended.
Another thing that you can do in order to impress her before inviting her out on a date, is starting learning her native language. She’ll willingly help you, and your lessons will make you and her closer and improve your relationships. But it’s up to you to make the first step here.
If you’re bad at learning foreign languages, you might be happy to find out that most Chinese girls speak English. Some of them know it perfectly, and others speak it a bit. But still, it’s necessary to pronounce her name and names of her numerous relatives correctly. Otherwise, she’ll get constantly irritated.
Learn some sweet phrases in Chinese, for example, Nǐ hěn piào liang which means “you are beautiful”. You also need to know how to say ‘will you marry me’ in Chinese, if you want to propose to her in the nearest future.
It’s good to learn and know much about her culture, but it’s better to show your respect about it all. Express your respect to her traditions and household. Chinese people always worship their adults, ancestors. So, whenever she tells you about her parents, listen with a great attention, even though you’re greatly bored.
Friends first, then dating!
When you’ve chosen a right Chinese girl on a dating site, don’t be too fast. She won’t give you her phone number the moment you ask for it. When you’re a complete stranger to her, don’t expect her to trust you. If you are too pushy, you’ll probably be rejected.
So, you should move slowly and gently. Make her believe that you’re a good and trustworthy friend. And then promise her something more. It’s normal for Chinese girls to make friends with boys and only then move closer. They don’t make the first step here, but their patience isn’t eternal. So, don’t be too fast, but excessive slowliness is no good either.
And something else you should remember, if you want to know how to date a Chinese woman online. Reply her messages as soon as possible. Chinese girls like keeping in touch with their almost-boyfriends in chats or through texts. Your girlfriend will want to know what you’re doing and you’re thinking about. If you don’t reply her fast, she’ll get worried. And it’s no good to keep your girlfriend warrying, is it?
What are Chinese women like?
Before you learn how to date a Chinese woman, you should learn what she’s like. First of all, let’s find out, where she’s from. A woman from mainland China differs from a woman from Hong Hong dramatically. And that’s what she’s like, a woman from mainland China:
- She’s family oriented. Some traditional values seem to be so strong in China, that they’ll never go away, despite all the Western influence. Family is the key component for every Chinese woman. No matter how far she is from her parents, she always honors them and comes to their place frequently. You also should show respect to your parents and her parents as well. Otherwise she won’t understand you.
- She trusts her parents, and their opinion about you will be important to her. If they don’t like you, you can forget about marrying a Chinese woman in China. So, try to be charming and modest, when your girlfriend is ready to introduce you to her parents. It’s your main task to make them like you.
- She’s traditional. It means that she expects you to take the lead. She won’t control you, like Western women. It’s not so bad, is it? But since you’re expected to make the following steps, you’ll feel responsibility and learn to take care about your girlfriend.
- She’s changeable. She’s humble and eager to follow your lead within several dates with you. But as soon as she gets comfortable with you, she’ll show you her true nature.
- She’s crazy about her status. Status means everything for Chinese people. It includes family, job, reputation, achievements. Miàn zi concept (it means “face”) is hardly clear for Western men. The face can be lost and should be kept. It can be divided onto the following categories: actions (achievements), community view (reputation, status) and individual view (personal prestige). So, when you leave your Chinese girlfriend, her FACE will be destroyed and her reputation will suffer. That’s what you should take into consideration, while dating her.
- She’s honest and direct. Honesty is on the first level to her. If she feels that there’s something wrong, she’ll tell you.
- She’s demanding. She wants you to become the best version of yourself. Some men admire this eagerness, but others are quite happy with their current situation and don’t want to improve or develop.
What do Chinese women want?
If you know answer to this question, it’ll be easy for you to understand, how to date a Chinese woman. So, let’s try to read her mind and find out what she wants:
- Stability. Like any other woman from any other country, your China girl wants to see a stable man next to her. It doesn’t mean that she’s a gold-digger, and the only thing she wants is your money. She just needs safety for herself, and her parents, and her relatives, and the whole world around her.
- Long-term relationship. Most Chinese woman are against one night stands and casual dating. But here’s an important difference between women from major cities and rural areas. Girls from Beijing and Shanghai seem more westernized, so you’ll probably find a girl, who isn’t so much concentrated on marriage.
- Constant connection. We’ve already mentioned that cute habit of amazing Chinese girls to text their boyfriends as frequently as possible. So, since you don’t want to keep your girlfriend waiting for your reply, you’d better take your phone with you, no matter where you go.
- Going out. She’ll be bored staying at home all the time, so invite her somewhere out. Dining out or watching a movie together is a good idea, but travelling abroad is better.
How to behave with a Chinese woman
Now, let’s go straight to the point. You’ll find the list of tips, telling you how to date a Chinese woman:
- Be humble and modest. Chinese people don’t like those, who are too talkative. They believe that wisdom is shown in silence. So, if you want to impress your girlfriend, forget about extraversion.
- Don’t rush things up. Chinese women are not ready to finish their first date in bed with their boyfriends. So, you should invest some time and enjoy your relationship develop slowly. Invite your girlfriend out every now and then, go to restaurants and cinemas with her.
- Stick to your plan, created beforehand. Pick her up from her place on time, open doors for her, be sweet and polite.
- Speak about your plans and be honest. Share your dating plans with her. Are you into having fun or ready for long-term relationships? What do you think about international marriage? Is this your path? Tell everything to your girlfriend, don’t let her believe her illusions.
- While dating, focus on her, and not on our phone. It’s no good to play Gardenscapes while talking to her in a restaurant. She won’t be happy and your date will probably be the last one.
So, now you know how to date a Chinese woman. You also know more about her personality, traditions. We hope, that all this knowledge will help you impress your Chinese girlfriend and live with her happily ever after.