Japanese women are rather exotic for American men. That’s why they attract them and promise some intrigue and pleasure. If an American man falls head over heels in love with a Japanese lady, he doesn’t care for cultural differences or possible misunderstanding. So, before you ever decide to propose to your Japanese girlfriend, you should know some things about Japanese women.
Why Foreign Husbands?
Japanese women are considered rather reserved and devoted to their country. But some of them are open-minded and look for foreign husbands. Here’re the reasons why they do that.
- They’re interested in other countries and want to widen their boundaries.
- They’re curious to get to know foreign men, who are exotic to them.
- They really prefer Caucasian men rather than Japanese ones (actually, there’s minority of such women in Japan, but the same situation is going on with minority of Caucasian men, who prefer Asian women).
- They’re already divorced, have children and they want to find happiness with a foreign husband. American men are considered to be tolerant towards “women with baggage”.
Japanese Girls and Love
Most of Japanese girls are looking for marriage and not romantic love. They need stability, they want to get settled down, they need a responsible and loving husband.
The Japanese society is gender segregated. Male-female friendship is not common in Japan, so, when you’re nice to a beautiful Japanese girl, she’ll be sure that you want to date with her. Actually, she doesn’t mind it. She just wants you to treat her nicely, that’s all. It means that she wants to be a passive participant of your relationships, and not the active one. She is ready to take care of you, and get rid of her own individuality in exchange for your responsibility and support.
A Japanese girl does analyze the man she’s dating. She wants to know everything about him: his job, his income, his way of life, his relatives. Possible in-laws are very important. A girl from Japan wants to know everything about the family you come from. That’s the way Japanese women mentality works. They need to know and control as much as possible.
Single Japanese girls don’t rush into relationship. They’re quite reserved, they are not used to expressing their emotions. They need some time to feel confident with you, and only then will you see how a Japanese lady can feel and love.
From Dating to Marriage
Before marrying a Japanese woman in Japan, there’re some tips you have to know, if you want to live happily ever after. Of course, all Japanese girls are different: some of them are working and independent, others see their goal of life in family and kids. You never know what a wife you have, until you get married. Some girls change dramatically after marriage and having children. If they were quite assertive and polite angels, they can transform into controlling devils. When she has children, she’s more of a mother and less of a wife. She dedicates all her life and time to her family. But hey, are those bad things to know about Japanese women?
What’s more, your Japanese wife will control your money. She’ll want you to give her all the money your earn and instead she’ll give you some little pocket money. She’ll be the one who will look after all the possible bills and payments, and make purchase decisions. Some men, who don’t mind pushing their responsibilities to someone else, will be happy to have such a controlling wife. But the consequence of that happiness is the following: sooner or later you’ll understand that your pocket money is not enough for buying beer or coffee!
When you marry a Japanese woman and stay in her country, get prepared that you’re stuck there for quite a long time. Especially when you two have children. It’ll be pretty expensive for you to take the whole happy family of yours travelling abroad. All those airfares, hotels and taxis… What’s more, your kids will have to go to school, and your Japanese wife will want them to learn her native language and not yours.
If you live with your Japanese woman in your country, she can miss her hometown and make you come back to Japan. There’s something all of us have to admit: Japan is a really unique country, and no other country can ever be compared with it.
Japanese International Marriages
Here are some things to know about Japanese women and their attitude to international marriages. First of all, they don’t want to learn English. Very few people in Japan ever learn any foreign language, unless they need it for business trips abroad. And fewer Japanese people speak English fluently. The majority of JP women know English just a little, make mistakes, have some understanding gaps.
Japanese people are not very fond or interested in other cultures. They’re quite satisfied with their own, so, when you go abroad, you’ll have to help your Japanese wife to assimilate. So, you shouldn’t hope that she will love your country and your culture, because she loves you. She will feel confused in a new place. So, pay attention to her behavior and talk to her.
When a Japanese woman marries an American man, she knows very little about him mentality and country. The same can be said about American men: they don’t know much about Japanese women either. So, you’re both are equal here. It’s interesting to learn someone new, especially when you love that someone. But there surely can be some misunderstanding, some conflicts. It’s OK to have them.
The USA or Japan?
The first thing you and your Japanese girlfriend have to decide is the country you will live in. A Japanese woman at home differs from a Japanese woman abroad. Of course, it’ll be hard for you to get used to Japanese culture. You’ll have to learn the language and all that sort of things.
You’ll need help from experienced expats, so find them and make friends with them. They will give you some useful tips about Japanese language, traditions. They will also share some things to know about Japanese women. Try to absorb as much knowledge as you possibly can.
American men, who were dating Japanese ladies, don’t recommend marrying them. That’s because divorce rates between foreigners (they are called gaijins) and Japanese women are very high. Much higher than divorce rates in native marriages.
If you have children with your Japanese wife, you will be limited in your rights as a father. After divorce you’ll be able to leave Japan, but only alone. Your kids will stay with your ex-wife. So, if you love your kids, you’ll have to stay with your wife and keep up the good relations with her.
We’ll share some things to know about Japanese women and divorcing them. You’ll be surprised to know that foreign husbands were the main catalysts for divorce. And the main reason was not cultural difference, as it might seem. According to stories of the men who were married with Japanese women and then had to split with them, there were some other reasons, for example:
- Wishing to have kids. If one spouse wants it and the other doesn’t, this serious conflict can lead the couple to divorce.
- Aging parents. A Japanese wife won’t leave her old parents, so, her American husband will have to bring his old parents to Japan, or leave his Japanese wife and stay with his parents. What’s more, Japanese people can be against international marriages of their daughters.
- Total control. American men don’t like being under control of their wives. Not many of them can sit back and watch their wives turning into violent witches. They can’t stand their lies, neglect and anger.
So, Japanese bride divorce rate is high because of their tendency of rapid transformation from kawaii tyan (sweet girl) into onibaba (demon woman). Most of American men are not prepared to that and can’t accept this change.
But we can’t predict that your Japanese dream marriage will fail. Sometimes love can be stronger than misunderstanding and cultural difference.